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American wedding traditions
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2.1 American wedding traditions
The American ceremony is probably the most well-known in the world. Although these days there are quite a number of unique wedding ceremonies taking place. Today you are allowed to get married in an airplane or in a drive-in movie theatre, all you need is somebody to marry other people will take care of the rest. Money is either very important or not important at all. In Las Vegas there are marriage ceremonies performed for only twenty dollars, but a wedding ceremony could also be the most expensive occasion in two people's lives. The tradition in the USA is different from The Church of England, in the wedding ring ceremony. Instead of just putting a ring on the woman's finger the groom also gets a ring.
Most weddings in the United States follow a similar pattern to the Italian wedding. Customs and traditions vary, but common components are listed below.
An American wedding is typically a happy, joyous occasion for all people of all backgrounds. American wedding traditions really vary from one religion or culture to another, but in American wedding tradition it's a happy time and the life of the new bride and groom is toasted and celebrated as they come together.
Every American wedding has subtle traditional elements, but there are no really strict guidelines that we follow when planning our big day. Over the last ten years, wedding etiquette has really relaxed and American wedding traditions have become a lot more liberal. This new liberal outlook has enabled couples to marry in a style that they are comfortable with, instead of the sometimes rigid standards that some used to associate with American wedding tradition.
One American wedding tradition is still the white dress for the bride. Brides only used to wear white if she was still a virgin and it was her first wedding. American tradition now dictates that any bride can wear white proudly, even though the second weddings tend to be a little bit less formal. The white dress really seals the deal though, and most women choose to wear it.
Another American wedding tradition is to have the ceremony in a church or place of worship. Those that don't have the ceremony in a place of worship usually have a member of the church clergy marry them in another location such as outdoors the mountains. The majority of people still get married in a place of worship, involving faith in their union, even with less rigid etiquette.
One great follow up to an American wedding is a reception or big party celebrating the bride and groom. The reception usually includes a meal, dancing, and mingling among friends and family of both the bride and the groom. A reception really is a great way to get everyone together as the two families really sort of merges as a result of the wedding. Receptions are often the most anticipated event when planning the wedding because there is so much to plan for.
Following an American wedding and reception it's a tradition for the bride and the groom to go on a honeymoon or vacation. The honeymoon was originally done for the bride and the groom to go away and enjoy the company of one another with chaperones for the first time, and even consummate their marriage. Now, it's more about getting away and just enjoying one another for the first time. A honeymoon gives a new husband and wife the chance to dote on each other with no distractions to sort of nurture the new union.
An American wedding has really morphed into a wedding of personal preference. Couples are free to plan a wedding and join in matrimony as they please and when they please. As long as there is a wedding certificate, all is legal, and everything else is up to them. Unlike many other cultures, there are no rigid guidelines or laws about marriage.
In America all you have to do is love someone, and you can marry him or her. And really, what's better than being free to marry and love whom you wish to? Just one more reason for America is so great. Initially Bridal Shower proposed to brace the friendships between the bride and her female friends. In the 1890s it evolved into an event for friends to present the bride-to-be with small gifts. The gifts were placed in a parasol, which was released above the brides head, allowing the gifts to "shower" down on her.
Again Bridal Party tradition commenced from the Anglo-Saxon custom of a groom using "Brides knights" to make certain that the bride head for the ceremony and then back to her husband's home without being attacked and the dowry stolen. Now bridal party is all about celebration and enjoyment.
Even today it is mandatory for every American bride to be to wear a Veil. Traditionally it meant that the broom didn't see the bride until the wedding ceremony. It was thought that if the broom had seen the bride before the ceremony was over and didn't like her, he might refuse to get married. So the veil was not lifted until after the ceremony and this is functional even today in modern American wedding. Traditional American weddings are organized in a place of worship like in a church, where family and friends assemble. Here comes the best man, flower girls, exchanging vows and rings, and the wedding music. The wedding ceremony is conducted by the priest. He formally asks the invitees whether they have any objection for this marriage and getting the positive response from the invitees the priest asks the couple to exchange wedding rings and then the couple is marked as husband and wife. Traditionally the newlyweds kiss to seal their union; this is the concept of Kissing the bride.
The groom's Cake is cut post wedding a piece of the cake is distributed amongst each guest as a memento of the wedding. The belief goes that if a woman
slept with a piece of the groom's cake under her pillow, she would dream about the man she would marry. Honeymoon meant the newly married couples to drinks a fermented wine made from mead and honey for a month (moon) following their wedding. Now it’s all about going for a month long vacation and spending time with each other. As the couple leaves the church, they are showered with rice or wheat which is recognized as the symbols of fertility. Then the couple organizes a reception party where all family members and friends of two families dine, enjoy and makes merry. Another American Wedding tradition is to collect money in a wedding wheel for honeymoon from the guests. The guests form two lines, and they pay a dollar or more to dance with the newlyweds.
An American wedding does not follow any rigid customs; it is more of wedding of personal preference. It is mandatory to have a wedding certificate and everything else is up to the couples. The usual attire since ancient times is a white pretty gown for brides and black or blue suit for grooms, this tradition is followed religiously in America.
The host sends invitations to the wedding guests, usually one to two months before the wedding. Invitations may most formally be addressed by hand to show the importance and personal meaning of the occasion. Large numbers of invitations may be mechanically reproduced. As engraving was the highest quality printing technology available in the past, this has become associated with wedding invitation tradition. Receiving an invitation does not impose any obligation on the invitee other than promptly accepting or declining the invitation, and offering congratulations to the couple.
While giving any gift to the newlywed couple is technically optional, nearly all invited guests who attend the wedding choose to do so. Wedding gifts are most commonly sent to the bride's or host's home before the wedding day. Gifts are typically not brought to ceremonies or receptions, and any that are will not be opened, but rather placed aside for later delivery to the newlyweds' home.
A color scheme is selected by some to match everything from bridesmaids' dresses, flowers, invitations, and decorations, though there is no necessity in doing so.Wedding preparations can be overwhelming and endless it seems. Many brides and grooms by their side have had a meltdown prior to the wedding. If you can relate, you are not alone.
Be encouraged and take heart. Fear not! The best is yet to come. It has been
said that marriage is like making mashed potatoes. First, you peel the potatoes. Secondly, you place them in hot water to boil. Thirdly, you mash them all up together until they become one.
Maybe you are presently being peeled by life's circumstances and wedding preparations up to your eyeballs. Perhaps you are now boiling in hot water and undergoing some emotional stress. Relationally we are all being brought closer together and smoothing out one another's rough edges. The process however can be like crushing grapes to make wine. Nevertheless remember how delicious and intoxicating the wine can be once the grapes are crushed.
Life and love flows in seasons and stages. There are many circular parallels between nature and life itself. Perhaps you are currently enduring the winter season of your relationship and engagement. Realize your love has not died, but rather its roots are going deep and your love's foundation being strengthened. Commitment surpasses romantic notions and fluctuating feelings. Often love is more of a decision than a feeling. Death and life are always occurring simultaneously. Marital love that lasts a lifetime requires that we welcome and embrace a more intense type of relational interaction as we become one. That means you both must be committed to personal growth individually and together. Therefore when some things are identified as harmful to your marriage, you need to humbly repent of them and be willing to die to them. As you die to deadly habits and refine your character, you will resurrect and breathe fresh life into your marriage. The more you die to self, the more you together as one shall love and live.
The bride and groom to be prepared four months for this day collecting wedding invitations and wedding cards from past weddings that they were able to attend. The couple checked and talked about their collection. Then they hired a wedding coordinator also who will then set up everything. Right after, the couple have informed them of the desired appearance and them of their wedding and also asked for inputs and suggestions.
From the discussions they had with the wedding coordinator, they decided to purchase and choose well the wedding stationery to write on their invitations, program, vows and every little good thing that need to be put on writing. The wedding invitations and weddings cards were be prepared first before anything else. Deciding on the wedding’s theme was quite difficult. It lasted for days to finally come up with a final color then the stationery’s look was based on this decision.
The wedding invitations and wedding cards were colored white with red accent. The bride chose that because according to her, white is the symbol for purity while red symbolized their love for each other. They also had their wedding invitations and wedding cards embossed with two doves inside a big heart, which signified that the two of them were joined as one because of love.
Aside from the two doves inside a big heart, the wedding invitations and wedding cards were also scented. The couple said that the scent would make it more elegant and presentable. The couple had laid their hands on every detail of the preparation because they wanted to make sure that everything went with what was planned and every guest would feel very special. Moreover, wedding invitations and wedding cards were personally delivered by the two lovebirds for they wanted to make sure that the invitations were directly given to the people they invited for their wedding. Then the lovely couple were very much excited and prepared really hard for this day to arrive. And my wish for them is that, just like the fairytales we’ve read, may they live happily ever after and love each other for the rest of their lives.
Wedding party is not the party you have where you drink and have fun. A wedding party is a group of people involved in your wedding preparations, people you can count on for help and not just to look good by your side during the wedding. They consist of a Maid of Honour, Best Man, Bridesmaids and Groomsmen. I could have an entire group of ten girls as my bridesmaid and Josiah could have ten groomsmen, but really – do we need all of them? If we were to measure friendship or closeness with that, we could have over 50 bridesmaid and groomsmen. So, the question is – how do we determine who is to be of what role?
A Maid of Honour’s role is to help the bride out in times of need, help with
planning and coordination, ensure that the bride is not stressed out. My initial perception of a Maid of Honour (MOH) is one that would help with the make-up and ensuring that I feel good and calm down during the wedding dinner, boy was I wrong. A MOH is an all rounder and does not emit stress so things would run smoothly on the day itself. I chose Amber, whereas Josiah chose his brother Johansen as his one and only Best Man who doubled up as Groomsmen. I had my sister in law Joyalene as my bridesmaid and my married sister loosely known as bridesmaid as she was married – I didn’t know if she was allowed to be one. My brother in law Kelvin was also loosely known as groomsmen that night for helping out at the reception with my sister and facilitation of guests.
Selecting the wedding party could be tedious at some point. You may want to appoint your best buddy as the Maid of Honour and Best Man (BM). Preferably someone who has seen you grow up, not necessarily friends who have known you for less than a year, because it surely doesn’t beat a person who knows you inside out. You need to identify the strengths of your MOH / BM. He or she may be good at work or could be a great friend but may suck at wedding planning, or it could be the other way around, or both. Josiah and I were lucky to have an all-rounder wedding party. Dealing with the wedding party requires a lot of trust and patience on your end. You just have to let go when the time comes and leave it all to their hands. Be alert at all times if you foresee anything that could possibly go wrong. Listen to advices from your family members and friends on all matters including your selection of wedding party. You can’t let one person ruin your wedding dinner. If you see a potential for that, quickly remedy it before time runs out. Your wedding party should not be more concerned about themselves before you for that special day. You as the wedding couple should always take good care of their welfare, ensure they have food, look good effortlessly and most importantly have fun. More importantly, a wedding party is to make you both look good with them keeping their decency. If they embarrass you at any point, it becomes your mistake, not theirs.
Registration of Marriage This process is rather simple. First, Josiah and I went to Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara (JPN) at Taman Maluri, Cheras at 8.30 a.m., based on our both IC addresses that are located within Kuala Lumpur. I heard that if your spouse’s IC address is in another state, you may have to register in that state. I think it cost us something like RM 10.00 to register. We provided copies of our identification cards and passport photos. It was a short process. They gave us a few dates two months after our application on three days available and we chose a Friday.
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